Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
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He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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