2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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