Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize