It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
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id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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