he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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