Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize