so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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