he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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