You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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