I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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