you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
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Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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