Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
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He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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