Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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