He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize