you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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