He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sacagawea was the original milf.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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