By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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