i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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