Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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