You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize