If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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