Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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