I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize