If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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