I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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