you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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