So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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