all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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