Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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