so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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