This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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