you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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