Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Your dad touched me again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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