i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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