we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize