i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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