I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize