can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
as a side note pls kill me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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