i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Panties = found
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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