Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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