Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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