I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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