i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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