lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You're like the curious george of whores
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize