I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize