The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize