Cold hands, warm shart.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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