3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize